Barranquilla Green Jade

I’m starting to wonder if there’s an inverse correlation between the quality of a Charles H. Baker, Jr. narrative and the quality of the corresponding drink. Take, for example, the Barranquilla Green Jade. Please. Here’s the narrative that precedes the recipe:

This amazing jumping-off town for emeralds, oil and gold in Colombian hinterlands, has already been described; how the ancient Spanish town rubs elbows with the most modern American practice. We have fond recollections of one charming hostess in Barranquilla who served us whole shrimps boiled in deep olive oil, bits of popcorn tossed in garlic butter, little fritters of plantano, and many strange tropical, chilled, fruits: mangoes, carissas, mangosteens, Surinam cherries, rose apples, mawmees, heaven only knows what else with long Latin names!

Just reading that makes me wish I were Baker. (And if you know what a “mawmee” is, I’d like to hear from you.)

Would that the drink were as compelling. But I think you all know what’s coming by now.

  • 1 jigger dry gin (2 oz Beefeater)
  • 1/2 jigger green crème de menthe (1 oz DeKuyper)
  • 1/2 jigger cream (1 oz)
  • 1 tsp egg white (1 egg white)

Shake with ice and strain into a coupe glass. Garnish with a green cherry and a sprig of fresh mint. Affix a green straw to the side of the glass.

Baker describes this as “a crisp thing, too, fine for hot weather.” Wow, how much did the green dye lobby pay him to say that? I cannot emphasize enough that this drink is in no way crisp and would be terrible in hot weather, or in just about any other weather. In short, it’s an undrinkable mess. It doesn’t help that the green cherry causes the drink to dribble all over the foot of the glass.

Instead of drinking the Barranquilla Green Jade, I consoled myself with a Green Lakes Organic Ale. Now that’s the right way to do a green drink: Put “green” in the brand name, but not in anything else. Ahhhhh.

Barranquilla Green Jade:  ★☆☆☆☆ 

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